i feel odd
just like ive been defeated on the inside. like im a nothing. a little nothing. i feel like i can do soooo much more. but i aloways feel cornered. i just herd my mother actually flat out says she hates me. my only real friend can never see me because her mother Hates pot. but is a total alcohoalics. i dont get how people can do something like that. then turn around and talk so much shit about something. they act like pots fucking heroin or fucking meth!....illl call it self defence. thats what i said to them. thats my solution for my mother. what about yours? you probly dont have that problem. or dislexia. or diabetes. or a fucked up spine. or a fether who...also hates you. let me tell you somethin. i cant trust anyone. ill tell you everything im open. ive got nothing to hide. fuck. if you killed me id be happy jail. hah...it would cost just as much to detain 10 people as it would to hold me. medisin and food and close moderting is EXPENSIVE! im so ghetto when it comes to what i do with my needles, ect.... i guess i dont care about anything.
i cant say im giving up. i dont have a migrane everyday like when i was trying to aloways kill my self. i just get by now....somehow i actually try... i guess. but it sucks. the more i try. the more i realise how much i really really suck...suck at life.
im sorry i talk...at all. it annoys me to even do it. but im so stressed. i feel so ugly now. meh....i really liked it when people would draw me...or do some neat art of me. it makes me sooo happy to see how an artist works. that i can inspire someone to make somethin thats so nice. i need a way to scan or photograph ner art. like drawings. im sick of my photography... its not like i have a camera any more anyways...
with the baby bunnies death n all. i discovered the little body. it was a mhamstersized bunny i was takeing care of for a few days. it was found in the plant department at like target or one of those odd stores that have flower departments... anyhow i feel sooo shitty it passed away in the night. it was just a little baby with its umbilical cord still... it was so damn adorible. it was mikes n my love child. sad loss for us all...i berried him with amber in the back. i couldnt say anything i actually felt like crying.
i have to go check me blood. ye head herts!
heh, by the way. i like how "high" is under "dayily needs"....heh heh heh
i need ta get ma' card renewed...blah blah blah
~Brit the Fit Pit